My Guru Ram Das Miracle

About 5 years ago I was living in Italy with my yoga teachers.  It was a huge time of personal transformation for me on many levels (living the yogic lifestyle, getting comfortable with myself as I am etc).  The transformation I want to talk about today is my relationship to miracles and faith.  I love the Yogi Bhajan quote “I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them.” It takes a HUGE amount of faith in the Universe to trust that the miracle you need will manifest in your life at the right moment.  And that was something that while I always wanted to believe… in my deepest places….I didn’t. 

While I was living in Italy my older sister called with the exciting news that she was pregnant with her second child.  I wasn’t at all surprised by this as I had had an intuitive insight before I left that she would be having a little girl soon.  We were all excited to hear that a new soul had chosen us to be her family.  A few weeks later my sister got the results of a test, which indicated the baby may have a serious developmental condition that would effect her ability to grow and develop in a “normal” way.  This was, of course, very unsettling news. 

When I heard this news I knew right away what I needed to do.  I started chanting 11 repetitions of the Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru Mantra every day.  I’ve heard people say that this mantra will make miracles happen.  After all it is a mantra in celebration of Guru Ram Das, the Lord of Miracles, and I felt like we needed the miracle of a healthy baby.  The first few days I chanted I was really hoping it would help….but felt it my heart that it was a lost cause.  By the 20^th day (or so) I noticed that while I was chanting I really (really!) felt that this baby would be totally healthy.  But at other times of day the fear or anxiety of the thought of the challenges this soul may face reared their ugly heads. 

Finally, by the 40^th day I realized I had completely dropped my fears.  I had connected during the meditation to the new soul and I knew, absolutely, that she would be perfect.  That she would come into our family and bring joy and that she would live out her destiny exactly as it was written.  And that, in and of itself, felt like a miracle.  That I was able to drop my fear and feel peaceful felt miraculous to me regardless of the health of this child. But Guru Ram Das wasn’t done…

Flash forward to a few months later:  I watched as my beautiful, perfectly healthy niece came into this world.  She has no signs of developmental disability and in fact is incredibly smart (This week in school she’s learning about words that rhyme…so she often comes home chanting things like “Lama, Mama.  Rhymes!”).  While I don’t lay any claim to creating the miracle of a healthy kid…I do feel that I connected to  Guru Ram Das in a very meaningful and personal way during this experience.  I feel the miraculous love of the Universe more and more each day.  And while I still, sometimes, have trouble truly believing that my miracle will come true…. I find it easier now to remember that my prayers have been answered and to rely on God, Guru and/or the Universe to keep answering them.  Sat Nam.  

What IS your name again? My Spiritual Name Introduction

Many of you have known me as Kelsey.  For a few days, months, years….or the whole 28 years I’ve been on this planet.  While I like the name given to me by my parents it is clear to me that now is the time to make a change.  10 years ago I was given a Spiritual name that is very dear to me.  From now on, I will be known as Nirmal.  Read on to find out more about this tradition: 

In the Kundalini Yoga tradition there is the opportunity to request your spiritual name.  When Yogi Bhajan (the master of Kundalini Yoga) was alive he personally meditated on each request for a spiritual name and would send you a letter with your new name.  I requested (and received) my name from Yogi Bhajan in 2002.  I remember clearly opening the envelope, standing outside in our driveway and feeling completely pleased and connected to the name. 

Even though I felt an immediate resonance with the name ‘Nirmal’ I was hesitant to use it right away.  For a while it felt to personal and sacred to share with others.  And then I was concerned that others would think it was weird or it would be confusing in my various school or work circles.  More and more over the years I have become aligned with my identity as a Teacher and Trainer of Kundalini Yoga, as taught by Yogi Bhajan.  The more I follow that path the more people call me Nirmal.  And the more I like it and crave that name to be my whole identify. 

Why would a name have such an impact on me?  For one the beautiful and sweet meaning, Nirmal can be translated in many ways.  In the letter he wrote to my Yogi Bhajan translated it as “the Flow of Harmony.”   A more literal translation (Nir= No, Mal= stain) is stainless.  I’ve also heard “immaculate.”  A spiritual, or destiny name, is both a signifier of who you are in this lifetime and a call to live your highest destiny.  While I think the idea of “flow of harmony” pretty neatly encapsulates who I am I also feel that it is something I will strive towards my whole life.    

So more and more over the years I have been called Nirmal.  It is to the point that I very much associate only with the name Nirmal.  And I am transitioning to using this name in all arenas of my life.  I would like to humbly request that you all make the effort to switch over to calling me this name.  I know there will be times you forget and I will try to gently remind you until it is just the name that rolls off your tongue when you see or think of me.

But this brings up a good point….how do you pronounce it anyway?!?  The first syllable ‘Nir’ sounds just like the word ‘Near.’  The second syllable ‘mal’ sounds like the second half of the word ‘normal.’  So, there you have it….Almost Normal, but not quite (sort of like me, wouldn’t you say?)  J

Each time you call me Nirmal you are not only making me radiantly happy you are also offering a blessing and a prayer for me that I might fulfill my destiny on this planet.  Using someone’s spiritual name is a loving act of service and I very much appreciate your kind efforts in this area!

If all of this talk of spiritual or destiny names has piqued your interest you could consider getting your own!  Before he died Yogi Bhajan trained Nirinjan Kaur in his system of numerology and meditation to select spiritual names.  I know people who have gotten their names from Nirinjan and feel a similar resonance and connection.   There are no requirements to get a spiritual name.  To learn more or request your own:  http://www.3ho.org/spiritual-names/

 If you still have questions about this tradition, pronunciation or my decision to be known as Nirmal I am more than happy to discuss with you…just let me know! 

And here are a few more lovely articles about people who’ve taken on their own spiritual names: 

http://www.karmicecology.com/body/environment/patty-kikos/change-your-name-change-your-life/

http://www.spiritvoyage.com/blog/index.php/raise-your-vibration-with-your-spiritual-name/

Walk on your path to the best YOU!

At each moment of each day we have a choice of how we’re going to live, which thoughts we’re going to think and which path we’re going to walk. If we choose to live and think the things that are indoctrinated into us by cultural expectations or limited visions of our self we will walk a path of “just getting by.” If we choose to think elevated thoughts, to see ourselves in the divine web of perfect existence and to work towards serving and helping others we will walk on the path to our highest destiny. When we work with the Ether element we are calling up our ability to live our divinely inspired lives. Ether is lighter than air, it is the element that surrounds and infuses our bodies with the spark of life. When we invoke the qualities of Ether we invoke the spark of all creation in propelling us forward towards our own divinity.

All of this is not to say that there is some perfect image of a yogi or a person that you are striving to be. I remember a time, just after I finished teacher training, when I felt all of this pressure to be a “perfect yogi.” I felt like I was letting myself (or, maybe, God?) down by not getting up before the sun and meditating each day. Like I was missing the point of being a yoga teacher if I didn’t grow my hair or take a cold shower each day. One of the most powerful lessons I learned that helped me turn that self-shaming cycle around was this: You are not here to be the best yogi. You are here to be the best YOU. Everyone’s spiritual path is different, the gifts and limitations you bring to this life are different than anyone else’s. But everyone can develop their gifts and become even more in tune with who they really came here to be. Everyone can make the choices in each moment that bring them away from shame, sadness or contraction and bring them towards destiny, fulfillment and radiance.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Choosing a new way of being, thinking and living can be tough. It requires grit. It requires the tenacity to keep at it even if you’ve failed in the past. It required surrender. And (for me, at least) it requires the grace of God/The Universe/The Infinite. The mantra Wahe Guru taps into that ecstasy of surrendering to and allowing the divine to flow through you and bless you with the grit to walk on your highest path with each and every step.

Wahe Guru!

Fall Events Update

Just a quick note with all of the great yoga events coming up. Fall is a great time to re-connect with friends and get centered before the onslaught of the holiday season. And we're in the final 40 days before the Aquarian Age so it's an especially good time to pray, mediate and enjoy the miracles around you. Hope to see you at one of these special events:

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

Guru Ram Das Birthday Sadhana

October 9th is Guru Ram Das's Birthday. A powerful day to gather together in comunity, pray,meditate and chant. I hope you'll be able to join us for a very special sadhana. We'll chant 2 1/2 hours of the Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru Mantra...this is a powerful and uplifting expereince. Don't worry if you've never done a meditation this long before...you can take breaks....and it might be easier than you think.

Sunday October 9th

5am-7:30am (you read that right, AM!)

at my parents house

1169 Veronica Lane Mendota Heights, MN 55105

This is a free Event

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Mantra Night

Back by popular demand! Join us for a night of chanting, yoga, eating, friend and fun!

Saturday October 22nd

5-6:30pm Kundalini Yoga and Meditation featuring the Humme Hum mantra

6:30-8pm Potluck and socializing (bring a small dish to share!)

Donations accepted for the Yogi Bhajan Library of Teachings.

1169 Veronica Lane Mendota Heights, MN 55118

About the Mantra

Humme hum braham hum means "We are we. We are God."

This mantra is incredibly healing for both the heart and throat chakras.

It connects us in a sweet, but powerful, way with the vast source

of life, energy and goodness in everyone and everything.

Including ourselves...

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

Thanksgiving Yoga

It wouldn't be Thsnkgiving without Kundalini Yoga and Meditation with my Mama!

We hope to see you for a fun, challenging (but totally do-able) yoga class on Thanksgiving day.

Thanksgiving Day

9am-10:30am

Please bring a generous donation of non-perishable food or money for the Sharing Korner Foodshelf.

Yoga Soul Center

1121 Town Center Drive, Suite 100

Eagan, MN 55123

Aquarian Age...here we go!

We are moving from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius. If this is a new idea for you I highly suggest this post by Santokh Singh, which covers the philosophy and basics of the transition. I’ve been hearing people talk about this transition since my first days of practicing Kundalini Yoga. At that time it was still 10 years away…and seemed (to me) to be in the very distant future…it was something I would think about later.

Well, now it’s time to think about it. I’ve been noticing changes in people all along this 10-year journey. People becoming more aware and interested in the practice of yoga and meditation. People beginning to accept that we are all connected in subtle, complicated, beautiful ways. People opening their minds and hearts to a new way of looking at the world.

I personally felt the hugeness of this shift in the last 8 months or so. All of the sudden it was SO clear to me that the way I had been approaching my life for the first 26 years just wasn’t going to work anymore. I knew, in my bones, that everything was going to change and I could bury my head in the sand and be crushed by the wave of change….or I could blow up my inner tube and enjoy the ride.

Part of that ride was to spend the summer in New Mexico. I was working on several different events and living in the Mother Ashram. And my real intention was to practice listening to my inner voice and connecting to others who want to ride this spiritual wave. It was an amazing journey and since I’ve been home people have asked me what I learned and what I experienced there. It’s difficult to encapsulate in words but I’ll try. I feel like the lessons I learned on my personal journey at this time are really applicable to the world’s journey into the Aquarian Age. So here we go…

Nirmal’s Lessons for Riding the Wave of Change:

One- Relax. Everything is going to change. Things may not be the way I think I want them to be. Things might feel uncomfortable for a while. And if I relax about it I can find the hidden jewels and nuggets of goodness and wonder in these times. If I just find a calmness within myself I can bring that with me wherever I go or whatever happens. And in the end when I look back I always realize the new reality is exactly where I always really wanted to be.

Two- A rising tide raises all ships. When I focus on allowing myself to feel happy and content I radiate that out to the people around me. When I learn tools to find that calmness I can share those tools. And then the people around me can be more relaxed and calm. Which makes me feel more relaxed and calm. Which…you get where this is going right? This works not only for calmness, joy, wonder, and peacefulness but also for sadness, negativity and fatalism…so be very mindful of your own state. Be diligent about your own happiness. Everyone will thank you for it.

All of these thoughts remind me of my favorite line from my favorite spiritual poem. And it also pretty much encapsulates how I feel about this huge transition the world is passing through right now. So I’ll leave you with these words from Guru Nanak:

“Those who meditate In the core of their being/ Who earn themselves through their hard work/Nanak, Their faces are radiant and beautiful/ And So Very many who are connected with them/Are liberated, too.”Japji Sahib, Guru Nanak

Deep Thoughts on Turning 27

Lets take a vote. Is 27 the last year of your mid-twenties or the first year of your late twenties? In general I don’t think (or care) much about the exact age I am. In fact, usually when people ask me I have to take a few moments to think about it before answering. But every year around my birthday (yesterday!) is like an awakening of WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE 27!?!?!?!?

It’s silly. I know. It doesn’t MEAN anything to be 27. Just like it doesn’t MEAN anything to be 10 or 81 or 105. It’s just a chronological statement of how long I’ve been in this body, on this planet. But…still…there are these culturally indoctrinated (totally artificial) expectations for certain ages. Have I accomplished those things I am SUPPOSED to have done by age 27? Am I living up to my own (or our societies, or God’s) expectations of me?

For me the answer is, Yes. I am living my destiny. And while that may not look like our culturally projected life (husband, house, kids) …it is what’s right for this Soul’s journey. I’ve been reading a lot lately about the Saturn Return. This is a huge astrological event that happens when Saturn returns to the exact place of your birth. It officially happens around 29 but the effects start to be felt around (oh no!) 27. I’m no astrologer, but my understanding of this event is something like this.

The Saturn return is like a second adolescence a shedding of traits, characteristic or circumstances that do not truly fit the person you’re meant to be in this life. You’re Saturn Return brings you into alignment with the next phase of your life and your Authentic Destiny. And here’s the key if you fight it/try to hang on to what ‘used to be’ you’re gonna get crushed. If you relax into and embrace the new clearer more authentic version of yourself that’s trying to come through (while it may still be a challenging time) you’re going to be invigorated and enlivened by the transition.

So, here’s hoping I can enjoy the last year of my MID-twenties and ride the wave of the first year of my Saturn Return with Grace.

Down Time…Update and Musings

I’ve had more down time in the past 2 weeks than I’ve had in a long time. It has been fun and novel to make plans to do fun things, to have long lingering lunches, watch movies in the middle of the day and spend time hanging with friends.

I went to Pagosa Hot Spring, a resort town in Southern Colorado, for a few days with my dear friend Sat Jot Kaur. All we did for 3 days was soak in healing waters, hike to beautiful waterfalls and eat yummy food. After working hard, long hours and doing lots of organizing and coordinating for the past 6 weeks it was lovely to just be simple and relaxed for a few days.

Since then I’ve been trying to enjoy my down time and also really enjoy the things to enjoy in Northern New Mexico. I’ve taken naps, went to the Flea Market, spent a day at Ojo Caliente, watched the last Harry Potter movie at midnight (yes!), gone swing dancing, exchanged bodywork, spent a day shopping in Santa Fe…and lots of lounging.

I’ve been pondering the idea of companionship lately. I realize that while I am happy to spend the day solo enjoying a good book and yummy tea at a coffee shop…. And while I have amazing friends who are entertaining, insightful and loving…even with these things I still sometimes experience that nasty feeling of loneliness. I know that the infinite universe/God is with me, loving me and keeping me company in each moment. So, why does my human body/mind still feel the need for more? What is the Universal Longing to Belong really all about? In my intellectual mind I can understand the human desire to feel seen and connected to other human beings. I can understand the inner child still seeking the validation or recognition of its importance…but when that feeling creeps into your gut the harshness of it…the weight of it…still takes my breath away.

The interesting (dare I say, cool) thing now is that I can have this experience without identifying with it. I’m not sure how I can explain it other than it’s like I am both the actor having the experience and feeling those things AND the observer watching the experience without being attached to them or what they mean. And, I know that these “negative” emotions will pass….and “positive” emotions will come…and doubt will come…and joy will come…and sadness will come…and life will come. And life will keep going….and I can keep up…and enjoy the ride. When I remember that I am not the doer….God is the doer….I am the enjoyer.

I’ve been describing this time of my life as a wave of transition…often saying that I don’t know exactly where the wave is bringing me but I know I’ve got to ride it. My job is just to trust that all will be taken care of. My job is just to take each step when it is shown to me and to trust and love along the way. So that what I’ll do.

And today that step is going to see some of the beautiful works of Georgia O’Keefe at her museum in Santa Fe!

Consciously Communicating Capers

Immediately after Summer Solstice I headed down the mountain to take up my role at the Course Coordinator for a 1-week Level 2 Teacher Training course. There were 77 yoga teachers, 5 trainers, 3 staff people and a partridge in a pear tree gathering together to study Conscious Communication.

This was my first year in this particular role…so to be nice to myself I’ll just say I learned a lot of lessons. My job was logistics….food, registration, paperwork, coordinating various elements of the course, making announcements etc. The course ran great (in no small part due to the wonderful trainers, the wise and gracious students and a welcoming sangat). While the perfectionist within me always knows that things could be better I feel grateful that the course overall ran well.

Oh right, except for one little, tiny thing…the largest wildfire in New Mexico history burning within several miles of our location. At the same time as the course I was running there were two other camps (International Women’s Camp and Khalsa Youth Camp), which were happening at Ram Das Puri (the Solstice Site). However, on the first night of the course I got a call at 11 PM that they were evacuating the site and the women and children would be sleeping in our classroom for the night. Yikes! (I should mention at this point they were evacuating due to the oppressive smoke).

We spent the next 2 days in flurry of trying to re-organize all of our activities (and kitchen use!) so that we could accommodate more than 100 women and children in the spaces available at the Ashram. By the grace of God (and the welcoming heart of the Espanola Sangat) it all worked out with only minimal bumps (not enough breakfast one morning!). We were never in immediate danger of the fire itself…but we certainly did smell (and feel the effects) of the smoke.

The scariest moment was when we heard the fire was within miles of Ram Das Puri (the solstice site). This was scary for me not because I ever feared for my personal safety…but because the land where we hold Summer Solstice every year is incredibly healing, powerful, sacred, special land. The thought of one of my favorite places in the world burning was deeply sad for me. However, the community sprung into action. We started doing the healing meditation every day before lunch (with all 3 camps!) and people all over the world….and (again by God’s grace) the fire never got any closer than a few miles from the Solstice Site. Wahe Guru! (Wow! The Infinite Universe is Amazing Beyond Words!)

Solstice and the Level 2 course had really taken a lot out of me. I had been working 8-12 hour days every day for about a month…and I was fried. Stay tuned for more on my rejuvenation at Pagosa Springs and the other shenanigans I’ve been getting into in New Mexico!

Land of Enchantment- Part 1

I told several people before I left Minnesota that I felt like I was at the beginning of a big wave of change in my life….but I wasn’t sure where that wave would take me. I now feel like I am in the midst of that wave…a full-scale reorganization of my psyche/life…and I still have no idea where that wave is headed. What I do know is that I am in exactly the right place for this moment of my life. I know that I made the right choice in trusting in God/The Universe and jumping headlong into this murky, wandering-wave world.

I’ve been in New Mexico for almost two months now….which is hard to believe. While it has been an extremely busy time…it has been equally rewarding. When I first arrived I was working for 2 different organizations. 3HO, which organizes the annual Summer Solstice Celebration and KRI which hosts the Level 2 Teacher Training course just after Solstice. (This may give you some idea as to why I haven’t been blogging yet….2 full time jobs sure does eat up your time).

Summer Solstice was a wonderful experience. It was challenging for me because I was working a lot during the event….which meant that I didn’t get to enjoy many yoga classes, social time etc. While I love being of service and holding the “behind the scenes” space at Solstice I did really miss a lot of the other elements of the event this year. Even so, Solstice is such a sweet time for me to be in the larger Sangat (spiritual community). I love being in Sadhana (early morning practice), taking a yoga class or sitting in Tantric lines with several hundred people. It is lovely to be reminded that there are many more wonderful people out there doing their best to walk on the path of consciousness.

I have more down time the next few weeks so I’m planning to blog a bit more….stay tuned for more about the Level 2 Course and the FIRE!

5-6-7 Go to Heaven.

The grooves we've worn in our mind map are SOOO easy to get back into. The whole point of this 40 days is to be HAPPY about my sadhana. To get a little something done on my mat each day and enjoy that process rather than scolding myself and wishing it were better or more like someone elses...or like that...or whatever.

It's not like that. It's like this. It's my practice. And it's like this. It's usually not first thing in the morning. It's usually a struggle to get myself on the mat. It's just like this. It doesn't mean it's a bad practice or I'm a bad yogi. It's just like this now. I sometimes feel really blissful but often feel itchy and want to give up most of the time. It's ok. It's just like this now. And this is OK. This practice, this person I am and am becoming is like this. And this is OK.

So days 5-7 are done.

I had someone talking to me about writing a mission statement for his life the other day. Not his professional life...just his time on this planet...what is he doing here, what is his focus....I like this idea. I am in a period of transition in many areas of my life and I think a mission statement might help to make me feel more directed and grounded. I know my Saturn Return is coming up here very soon....and I think a mission statement might help to smooth any bumps or potholes that might bring up. So, I think I'll be writing a mission statement. It needs to be concise, applicable and specific. Any ideas?

Trying to Find the Flow. Day 4.

Today was another just-get-through-it kind of day. I got up this morning and thought it would be nice to have my breakfast and my coffee before doing my meditations. I had a pretty laid back morning so I had plenty of time. Somehow though I still managed to wait until the last possible moment to get myself to my mat. Oh, life.

Japji. 11 minutes of Wahe Wahe Wahe Guru. 11 minutes of house cleaning. Done.

I've been thinking about habits lately. I recently heard a story from a very smart lady about how she quit smoking. She was able to quit when she stopped shaming herself and telling herself all of the reasons she should stop smoking. She was able to quit when she started telling herself and others all of the reasons she wanted to smoke, all of the things smoking was doing for her.

We create our habits because those particular patterns of behavior were serving us in some way. When we are ready to change or drop a habit we must first choose to clearly see the old habit and identify exactly what need it was serving for us. When we do this we can actually LOVE those habits and the way they served us for a time...and we can recognize honestly, that we no longer need them to serve that particular need.

So, thats what's been on my mind today....what exact need has been served by my avoidance of a daily practice? How have I been nurturing, protecting or in some other way fulfilling myself by starting and stopping various sadhanas? How am I serving myself by sleeping in rather than meditating in the mornings? I don't yet have the answer....stay tuned. :)

Day 3. Growth from Steadiness.

Thursdays are great. My schedule is such that on Thursdays I can walk to my various work places...and today we have the added bonus that it is sunny and warm. Hooray!

So I've done about an hour of Breathwalk so far today. Breathwalk is a combination of walking with specific breath patterns and mantras. I always feel SO good doing breathwalk it creates that perfect combination of alert and relaxed yumminess. I also chanted Japji outside today. Sitting in the sunshine, repeating God's name....I mean, seriously, does it get any better?

Today I've been reflecting on and am grateful for the vast variety of techniques available to me as a Kundalini Yogi. Walking meditation, still meditation, moving meditation, quiet meditation, chanting meditation...and on and on. Sometimes the array of techniques can feel overwhelming (how will I ever get to it all???) but I remind myself that the true growth comes from steadiness, from making the commitment each day to examine my mind, to clean the windows of my soul and decide in THIS moment and with THIS breath to reach for the highest vibration of my destiny. Yes, there are many MANY ways to do this. And today I choose to continue on that journey.

Wahe Guru! (Indescribable is the ecstasy of emerging from the darkness into the light)

Ug...Day 2.

Wednesdays are tough days for me to get my practice in the morning...and when I don't do it in the morning it's tough to get motivated to do it later in the day. Yogi Bhajan used to called excuses Self Abuse. So, no excuses. I just barley snuck in my practice today at 10:30pm. Read Japji and did 11min of the Wahe Guru meditation.

Honestly, didn't feel that great during...or after. But this is part of committing to daily practice. Showing up, sitting down and diving in....no matter what it looks like. So, there ya go. Day 2 done.

Whew.

Day 1

It's amazing to me how much resistance shows up sometimes. Today I planned to wake up a bit early to get my sadhana done...not super early...not 3am....just 6:30am. Even so, when my alarm went off it was suddenly like I hadn't actually slept all night and I needed just a few more minutes...and maybe a few more....and...

But, eventually, I did get up and get myself on my mat. Reading Japji is like coming home and catching up with an old friend. There is something SO comfortable and familiar in the sound current...but somehow it is still new, exciting and inspiring. Then I was on to the Camel-Rock-Baby set. This is a 3 pose yoga set that many people I know practice and swear it has totally transformed their life/energy. Since I've been having some energy imbalances it felt like a good kriya for today. For those of you non-yogis Camel pose is basically a back bend from a kneeling position where you reach back and grab your heels. I only practiced 3 minutes in each postion....but still, the amount of energy released and the clarity after 3 minutes of camel pose was awesome. Then sitting in Rock Pose for 3 minutes I could feel that huge expansiveness settling into my body. Finally Baby Pose (with the forehead on the ground) created a sense of bowing and honoring that was cozy and peaceful.

Time for another true confession: I am not a super-neat housekeeper. I hate washing dishes and tend to be in and out of my house so quickly that clutter and stuff just sort of piles up. So, I've decided that sometimes cleaning can be a part of my sadhana. Because I do really feel much better when my home in neat and clean...I think it makes my mind clearer and allows me to be more relaxed. (I'm sure you Feng Shui people would back me up on this). So the 3rd element of my sadhana today was 11 minutes of dish washing. I chanted Sa Ta Na Ma while I washed and tried to approach it as a moving meditation....I'm still working on it.

Finally I ended with 11 minutes of the Wahe Guru Meditation for unattached involvement. This is a big one for me. In the past when I've worked to develop my neutral mind sometimes I let the pendulum swing past unattached/neutral and all the way to detached/indifferent. While at first indifferent seems more desirable than angry, sad or reactive....in reality it is an equally painful place to reside. Because when we are indifferent our existence in this world seems meaningless and trite. I know in my heart that I can live fully in this world, create meaningful relationships and experiences and at the same time not be attached or defined by those things. I am in the process of surrendering to that knowledge and developing the confidence in God to live in that place.

Day 1 down...and looking forward to the next 39....and beyond....

Happiness Sadhana

One of the cornerstones of the practice of Kundalini Yoga is daily sadhana. Sadhana has been translated in many ways....but for me it means committing to myself and deciding each (and every) day to show up and honor myself and this awesome Universe.

However, daily sadhana has always been a challenge for me. I sometimes have some guilt or shame around admitting that fact. After all I have been teaching and practicing Kundalini Yoga for a decade. I "should" have beaten this challnege already. But should is such a icky word...I've decided to stop the shame cycle and start approaching my daily practice with excitement and wonder.

I often get on a sadhana kick...praciticing every day for awhile (even sometimes practicing 2.5 hours a day for 40 days). But the longer term daily commitment seems to fade after time. I think there is a part of me that feel like I've done SO much work on myself already (and I have) that I just can't face anymore right now. But the truth is I've never experience this breath, this moment, this opportunity to heal myself at this level, on this day and in this way before.....So, I am here to recommit.

For the next 40 days I commit to practice yoga every day. The basis of my practice will be the recitation of Japji (one of my favorite prayers/chants from the Sikh faith) and 11 minutes of a Wahe Guru meditation given to me by Gurucharan Singh. The rest of the practice may shift day to day. There are so many things I want to do, such as: Pituitary Gland Series, Breathwalk, Camel-Rock-Baby etc....And I will blog about it each day. Even if the blog is just "I did it today."

In 4o days I will be packing up my life into my car and heading to Espanola, NM (the Mother Ashram) to work and serve for the summer. I feel like this time period will be a profound and clarifying for me and my Soul's journey. And I am excited to approach it with a childlike sense of wonder and joy. So, the most important part of my sadhana for the next 40 days will be cultivating that attitude of non-attachment but full involvement in the beauty of sitting on my mat each day and the blessing of allowing God/The Universe to be the doer in my life.

Day 10...er...14

_{I was going to write a blog 9 days ago called “Day 1” and reflect on how enormous it felt to be embarking on a 40 day commitment of 2 ½ hours of chanting every day. Well….somehow chanting for 2 ½ hours a day has cut down on my blog-writing time.}

_{[NOTE: I originally started THIS blog 8 days ago…so….whoops]}

_{Two of my friends in New Mexico decided to do this sadhana….40 days, every single day….chanting for 2 ½ hours, Ek Ong Kar Sat Nam Siri Wahe Guru! Yogi Bhajan called this the teachers sadhana and encouraged people to practice it. So….here we go.}

_{This mantra is chanted in many ways…the way we’re doing it is called “Long Ek Ong Kars.” “Morning Call,” “Long Chant,” or my favorite “Long Eks.” You chant the mantra on 2 ½ breaths (if you’ve ever been to early morning sadhana it is the first chant). Here’s my story with Long Ek’s….}

_{The first time I did this chant/meditation I HATED it. And I continued to hate it for quite some time (years, actually). Because you are chanting on your breath length it can be challenging to do in a group where everyone has different lung capacity….and it always just sort of….bugged me. Then I took a course in Rome where we did 37 ½ minutes of this meditation….and somehow during that 37 ½ minutes I totally and completely fell in love with Long Ek’s.}

_{In the past this mantra totally opens up the energy channels in my body and makes me feel activated and chill-axed at the same time. It has made me sharp thinking and I know it is clearing karmas and darkness from my aura. Whew!}

_{So here I go, embarking on 40 days. 1/10th of my day. Each and every day. Chanting.}

_{Day 1- Was WAY more blissful then I had anticipated. I was pretty zoned out by the end (I’m not actually sure how much I was chanting out loud during the last half hour)…but I really sort of loved it.}

_{Day 2- The first hour went great, I felt really solid…both physically and energetically…. The 2nd hour was tough….I got the fidgets. And a pretty serious case of ‘em. But somehow, I still made it through.}

_{Days 3,4 and 5 were all a mix of really blissful moments, moments where I hated the fact that I had agreed to do this, moments where I felt totally aligned with my life’s purpose and moments where I wanted to JUMP out of my skin just to get away from the uncomfortable sensation of being me at that moment.}

_{Day 6- I had a problem. I lead the Aquarian Sadhana at the YogaSoul center on Saturdays. This is a different 2 hour yoga and meditation practice. So far, every day I had been starting my chanting around 5am….but I was scheduled to be leading sadhan from 4:30-6:30am….and I knew it would be SO tricky to find 2 ½ hours to chant if I didn’t get it done first thing in the morning. I sent out the call for someone to cover sadhana for me…to no avail.}

_{Only one person showed up for the Aquarian Sadhana that morning…and by the grace of God, she thought it sounded like a good idea to chant Long Ek Ong Kars for 2 hours. Wahe Guru! So for the first time I split my time….I did 2 hours that morning….and then another 30 minutes later in the day.}

_{Somehow that one day of switching up the routine really threw me through a loop.}

_{The next 4 days I was only able to make myself get up with enough time to complete 1- 2 hours of chanting in the morning (I know, only 2 hours?!?!?)…so I always had to have at least 2 sittings to complete my time each day.}

_{And honestly, I don’t really like it that way. I know it sounds crazy but I would RATHER sit for 2 ½ hours at a time then spread it out over my whole day. For one, when I get up and do it before my day starts I don’t have the think about it. If I know I have another 30 minutes of chanting to do it is on my mind all day. For another, the meditation is different all at once. You have to get to a point of complete surrender when you’ve agreed to sit for 2 ½ hours…if you know you can get up in 28 minutes…it’s just…not the same.}

_{So that brings me to Day 11: I finally wrangled myself up and out of bed and completed my 2 ½ hours before leaving the house in the morning. It felt like a victory of sorts….but also not as sweet and blissful as I had expected (hoped?)}

_{Day 12: Good, solid morning practice.}

_{Day 13: Whoops. Off the horse again. Some combination of the late night hot bath, weird alarms on my iphone and just plain tiredness from a really busy day the day before, an early morning committment and a snow storm meant I didn’t chant AT ALL before I left the house that morning. Oh! No! Again, purely by the Grace of God I was still able to get it all in before the end of the day….and vowed that this was the end of this silliness….from now on every day, all 2 ½ hours DONE before I leave the house.}

_{Day 14- 17: Or not. Some times I get it all done in the morning. Some times not. Some times I feel super blissful and happy about it. Sometimes I feel so-gosh-darn-fidgety!! And that’s just during the meditation.}

_{In the rest of my life I can really feel the work this meditation is doing on me. Yogi Bhajan talked about how we have a wrong view of meditation. We think it is where we sit and experience bliss. But actually meditation is the house cleaning of our minds. When you clean your house it can get pretty nasty…and if you do a real thorough deep cleaning you realize even the surfaces you thought were clean are harboring dirt….and even surfaces you’ve cleaned before need to be cleaned again….and you even get into that deep dirt behind the refrigerator and everything. And while (yuck!) it is nasty during the cleaning process…isn’t it lovely to have it done.}

_{Same thing in meditation. So I’ve agreed to a real, deep, serious clean out. I sit in meditation each day….and then for the rest of my day I am looking at all the crud, dirt and ickiness I’ve been moving out of my mind, heart and energetic field. So, it’s not pleasant. And I’m having a hard time being nice and gentle to myself in this process.}

_{I have to say each day “it’s ok, no one expects you to be perfect, you’re doing a good job.“ and sometimes I believe it and sometimes I don’t. But I try to say it to myself anyway.}

_{I do believe this process is a unique and beautiful healing experience for me. And I do believe in the end I will love to walk into my clean, organized and happy home (meaning my Self).}

_{And, I also know that you don’t just clean a house once. So while this particular meditation will be done for me on December 10th….I can guarantee on December 11th I’ll be on my mat again meditating, cleaning, praying and growing.}

_{Thank you all for reading and for your support (tangible or energetic) during this time. I am grateful to have you in my life. Stay tuned for more updates.}

_{Sat Nam}

_Nirmal

MY Soul Sings

Yesterday was not only a spectacular Full Moon...it was a "true" blue moon....which means there were two full moons in the same zodiac sign. I'm not usually one to pay much attention to astrology except in reverse. What I mean is, I don't look up astrological information to know what's coming....but I do notice when everyone I know is experiencing some kind of challenge/shift/opportunity and almost always this correlates to some kind of astrological thing-ah-ma-bob.

So, for the week leading up to this Blue Moon I have felt S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D! I often felt a huge weight on my chest and when I looked at my to-do list I just wanted to throw my hands up, hide in my cave and pretend the "real" world didn't exists. I went through about 3-4 days of this feeling totally helpless...and then I remembered: I have TOOLS to handle situations like this!

One of the totally awesome things about Kundalini Yoga is that there is always SOMEthing we can do to make ourselves feel better. For me, my go-to tool when I am feeling overwhelmed (or disconnected from God, or unsure of what decision to make, or even just really happy) is Japji.

Japji is the "Song of the Soul" and it was written by a super-awesome teacher who lived in India a few hundred years ago called Guru Nanak. Japji is a 40 verse poem/song/prayer. They say that each verse relates to one element (earth, water, fire, air, ether) and one chakra. The first verse relates to the 8th chakra and ether element (so the most etheric, "out there" quality we have as human beings)...and then the energy of the sound current travels down through the chakras until the very last verse, which relates to the earth element of the 1st chakra (or our most rooted, physical element). When I chant Japji I visualize and feel the energy of the universe manifesting and sinking in to me. I feel like the rhythm and sound of the words creates a very peaceful, connected easy space within me. I really do feel like my soul is singing.

So, on the 4th day of my pre-blue-moon-stress-out I remembered Japji....I sat down and chanted it right then and there and I kept chanting it or having a recording of it playing around me all day for the next several days. And it made all of the difference. I could right away feel myself shifting from "how can I do this?!?" to "The Universe will take care of me." And that is a much happier place to be.

Japji is one of my favorite things...in the world, because it is so beautiful and SO effective. And you can experience the beauty of it too! Japji is always the first thing we do in the Aquarian Sadhana.

Sadhana is a lovely yoga and meditation practice that happens before sunrise (I know, I know...it's early....but it's also totally worth it!). You can experience the beauty of Japji and the entire Aquarian Sadhana at YogaSoul on Thursdays and Fridays 4-6am and Saturdays 4:30-6:30am. Also, a fellow yogi, Sat Rattan is offering 40 days of Aquarian Sadhana at Rivebend Yoga Studio in Saint Paul in honor of her upcoming marriage...5am every day until 12/21. If you need more info or have any questions please feel free to shoot me an email.

Blessings,

Nirmal

This Stuff Really Works

You know…I’ve been practicing Kundalini Yoga for about 10 years now. (Shocking, I know!) So you would think that some of the awe and wonder of the practice might have worn off by now…but, NO! Not at all. I still find myself marveling at how much this stuff really works and how powerful and obvious the effects are in my day-to-day existence.

I was recently assigned the Pituitary Gland Series by my mentor. This is a relatively easy yoga set to stimulate the “Master” gland, which plays a major role in regulating many of the body systems and processes. From a more yogic perspective we say that the Pituitary gland is associated with the Third Eye Point. This is our energetic center of Intuition. As some of you know, I am a pretty intuitive person is certain instances or moments…but my intuition is always something I feel like I could develop or strengthen more.

I also have to admit that I’ve been assigned this kriya (set of yoga postures) before…and I would do it for a few days and then give it up. I just couldn’t get it to stick. For some reason now is the time. I am on Day 17 of a 120-day practice…and I am absolutely LOVING it! This is one of the greatest sets ever! (If you take my classes you also know I say that about a lot of sets….but they all really are that good)

I love how this set makes me feel afterwards…totally calm, focused and energized. I love the flow between the postures in this set….graceful movement from lunge, to resting to standing, down dog moves gracefully to cobra etc. But, the coolest part is how IN TUNE I am lately. After the first week of doing this set I started to feel like Angad (the owner of YogaSoul, who I do a lot of work with) and I had the same brain. It was like we were literally thinking the same thoughts…a few times I had to ask if we had actually spoken about certain topics or if I had just picked it up intuitively.

And beyond that things just started clicking right into place in my life with SO much ease….I was almost unnerved by how easily some major life shifts happened. In ONE DAY I bought a new car and applied for a new, beautiful apartment…wowzas!

And I can honestly with 100% certainty say all of this beautiful stuff is a direct result of me getting onto my mat every day and practicing this set of Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan.

I know, I know I’ve been doing this forever why am I still so shocked at how well it works? I don’t know why I am still so amazed…but I hope it continues. I hope I never cease to be amazed and grateful for this perfect technology. I hope I get to continue to be overwhelmed by gratitude for the ability to sit on my mat each day, to practice yoga and meditate. I hope that the wonder of it all continues for the rest of my life.

Wahe Guru! (Which translates as Wow! The power of the universal energy, which brings me into the light of the Divine)

Nirmal

PS- Mantra Night is coming up!! Friday 10/1 6:30pm at YogaSoul…come share in my ecstasy by chanting Wahe Guru!! Click Here to Register

PPS- I am leading the Pituitary Gland Series every Saturday during early morning sadhana…4:30-6:30am, come bliss out with a FREE yoga class! Click Here for Details

Amazing Body!

Part I- Amazing Body! Part II- Women Rule!

I L-O-V-E anatomy. One of the reasons I went back to school to become a massage therapist was so I could take more anatomy classes. (I know, dorky, right?) I just think this amazing package we’ve been given to live in is so gosh-darn fascinating.

We are running a Teacher Training program at YogaSoul (Eagan, MN) and this past weekend was one of our training weekends. And on Sunday I got to teach the “Western Anatomy” portion of the course. It combined two of my favorite things, teaching and bodies…so I was happy.

When our bodies were being designed they were so beautifully put together…the nervous system and the endocrine system work elegantly together to keep all of our systems running in perfect balance. Our Respiratory and circulatory system have a harmonious relationship that keeps us moving and energized. How awesome and perfect.

Bodies certainly keep working even when we don’t take very good care of them (another cool thing, I think). But, even better, when we even take SMALL steps to take good care of our body-machine it pays us back with BIG time feel-good rewards. This is one of the reasons I practice yoga…it just makes me feel good in my own skin (and muscles and glands and…)

I am happyhappy that I got to share some of my excitement and knowledge with the beautiful teachers in training this weekend. And it is my prayer that this knowledge will make them better teachers when they get out there and start helping people.

On another note: Women Rule!

Yogi Bhajan (the Master of Kundalini Yoga) taught a TON of wonderful stuff for women. He spent weeks each summer teaching women how to become “Eagles” instead of “Chicks.” The teachings of Kundalini Yoga are so powerful and healing for everyone…and especially for women. If we re-orient the way we expect the world to be and step into our own power we realize how to make everything serve us and how to uplift everyone around us. It is SO great!

I had a lot of resistance to the Women’s Teachings when I first studied them. I didn’t think that how Yogi Bhajan described things was how it SHOULD be….or how I WANTED it to be. But the more I studied and tried applying his concepts to my life the more I surrendered….and this allows me to use the natural energy and flow of the world, rather than fight it.

I’ve been thinking for a long time about how to develop and support the community of women practicing Kundalini Yoga…so, I am very excited to announce:

The Women’s Circle: A gathering of women on a spiritual journey.

Each week we’ll meet in a small group (only 7 spots!) led by myself and my dear friend, Della, we’ll explore a spiritually based book and discuss what it means to be a woman on a spiritual path. This will be a supportive and cozy group and I hope you can join us.

You must pre-register by THIS Friday! 9/25/10

The course runs 4 Saturdays, 10/2, 10/9, 10/23 and 10/30. Cost:$54

Click Here to Register

In October we will be discussing the book: Everyday Grace by Sat Purkh Kaur.

If you’re interested in the November group sign up soon, we’ll be discussing the Eight Human Talents by Gurumkh Kaur.

Yoga-Thon-A-Rama

I was blessed with the opportunity to spend a month in New Mexico this summer. Every year in August the Kundalini Research Institute holds a month-long Teacher Training Course. This year I was invited to attend the course as a Trainer in Training (or TNT as we we’re called during the course).

Most teacher training courses happen over a 9 month period...with lots of time for introspection, reflection and processing. In the immersion format everything is SO tightly packed that there really isn’t time for all of that. I think I’ll still be absorbing and learning from this course for many months to come.

That being said I have grown immensely in my appreciation for and understanding of what it really means to be a Trainer of Kundalini Yoga Teachers. This is no small thing. I truly and honestly believe that the way we are going to change the world to a more peaceful place is by individuals becoming more peaceful within themselves. In my experience Kundalini Yoga and Meditation is the best way to create harmony, peace, happiness and love within MYself...and I see that transformation happen every time I teach a yoga class.

So, to be able to teach other people HOW to create the space for individual students to have their own transformation from darkness to light, sadness to happiness, discord to peace....is a huge responsibility. We’re talking superhero, save-the-world kind of stuff here. Whew!

I know, beyond a doubt, that this is my path in life. To love, share and expand the teachings of Yogi Bhajan...to hold a space where individuals can find their light and learn to turn on the lights of those around them....what an awesome gift.

I hope that as the weeks continue I will begin to grasp even more depth and appreciation for my month at the “mother ashram” in New Mexico...and as I do, I hope to share those insights with you. Thank you all for being a part of my journey on this path.

Sat Nam,

Nirmal