Trying to Find the Flow. Day 4.

Today was another just-get-through-it kind of day. I got up this morning and thought it would be nice to have my breakfast and my coffee before doing my meditations. I had a pretty laid back morning so I had plenty of time. Somehow though I still managed to wait until the last possible moment to get myself to my mat. Oh, life.

Japji. 11 minutes of Wahe Wahe Wahe Guru. 11 minutes of house cleaning. Done.

I've been thinking about habits lately. I recently heard a story from a very smart lady about how she quit smoking. She was able to quit when she stopped shaming herself and telling herself all of the reasons she should stop smoking. She was able to quit when she started telling herself and others all of the reasons she wanted to smoke, all of the things smoking was doing for her.

We create our habits because those particular patterns of behavior were serving us in some way. When we are ready to change or drop a habit we must first choose to clearly see the old habit and identify exactly what need it was serving for us. When we do this we can actually LOVE those habits and the way they served us for a time...and we can recognize honestly, that we no longer need them to serve that particular need.

So, thats what's been on my mind today....what exact need has been served by my avoidance of a daily practice? How have I been nurturing, protecting or in some other way fulfilling myself by starting and stopping various sadhanas? How am I serving myself by sleeping in rather than meditating in the mornings? I don't yet have the answer....stay tuned. :)